Takeaway: Curious where your sex life stands? This quiz will shed some light on whether or not you’re truly satisfied. Plus, I share some real tips that I give my sex therapy clients. Let’s dive in!

Are you and your partner trying to improve your intimate life? If so, you’re not alone. Many couples go through an ebb and flow in their sex life. Acknowledging the ‘ebb’ is the first step in achieving the flow again. 

As a certified Cincinnati sex therapist, I understand the importance of a healthy sex life. I also understand that sometimes maintaining a healthy sex life takes a little extra help. Below you’ll find a relationship/married sex quiz for couples, designed to help you assess the current state of your sex life. As an expert in the field, I’ll help you interpret your quiz results and offer some useful insights from decades of experience. 

Couples sex quiz: How satisfied are you?

This sex quiz for couples will encourage you to reflect on your intimate connection with your partner. It’s not always easy to be honest, especially if your sex life has been a cause for concern lately, but try your best. Your honest, authentic answers will shed light on your level of satisfaction. Each answer may also lead to constructive communication with your partner and point you in the direction of renewed relationship satisfaction.

Couples sex quiz

Ready for the sex quiz for couples? Let’s dive in!

A. Emotional Closeness

How frequently do you and your spouse address each other’s feelings and make time for mutual understanding and emotional closeness?

• A: Frequently
• B: Sometimes
• C: Rarely

B. Communication

How often do you and your partner openly discuss sexual desires, boundaries, and relationship concerns?

• A: Frequently
• B: Sometimes
• C: Rarely

C. Sex and Exploration

How often do you and your partner explore new sexual experiences or try different things together?

• A: Frequently
• B: Sometimes
• C: Rarely

D. Fantasy Sharing

How often do you and your partner have a fun and private talk about your sexual fantasies or communicate openly about your mutual desires?

• A: Frequently
• B: Sometimes
• C: Rarely

E. Sex Life and Physical Intimacy

How often do you and your partner engage sexually?

• A: Frequently
• B: Sometimes
• C: Rarely

F. Non-sexual Intimacy

How often do you and your partner engage in non-sexual intimacy, such as holding hands, cuddling, or spending quality time together?

• A: Frequently
• B: Sometimes
• C: Rarely

G: Sexuality

How often do you seek to learn more about your partner’s sexual orientation and desire?

• A: Frequently
• B: Sometimes
• C: Rarely

H. Sexual Satisfaction

On a scale of 1 to 10, how sexually satisfied are you in your relationship?

• A: 8-10 (Very Satisfied)
• B: 5-7 (Moderately Satisfied)
• C: 1-4 (Less Satisfied)

All the questions above should offer insight into your current feelings about you and your partner’s sexual desires and current sexual connection.

Ready to interpret your quiz results?

 

Interpreting your results

Congratulations on completing the relationship/married sex quiz for couples! It’s not always easy to take an honest look at our relationships, so your exploration is a reflection of your courage. Let’s explore your quiz answers and discover insights about your connection. 

Mostly A’s: You and your partner make time for emotional closeness, you communicate well, and you nourish your intimate life. If you’re still feeling like there’s something not quite right in your connection even though you scored mostly A’s, that’s normal. Relationships can be complex and sometimes it takes a little extra investigation to get to the root of issues. 

Mostly B’s: It sounds like you and your partner are still finding the groove. There’s room for improved communication and deeper sexual exploration, but you still have a healthy connection. Take this as a chance to fine-tune your connection and increase that score. 

Mostly C’s: Don’t fret if you got mostly C’s in the sex quiz for couples. This score indicates room for improved communication and connection. It does not mean that your relationship is doomed. Sometimes it just takes one small shift – more open communication, more quality time, and mutual understanding – to inspire positive change and increase both partners’ relationship satisfaction.

My top tips for couples

Sexual tests for couples can offer valuable insight into the current state of your relationship. I encourage you to keep exploring and discovering!

As a certified therapist with decades of experience in both sex and couples therapy, I’ve seen how even small changes can lead to big results in relationships. From my experience, I want to offer you some tried-and-true tips to increase the passion, strengthen the connection, and deepen the bond.

Remember that intention is key – each person has to want to improve the relationship. That shared intention paves the way for profound transformation.

• Focus on communication: Remember that your feelings and desires are not static. They are always shifting, that’s why consistent communication is key!
• Explore new things: Try fun activities and romantic experiences to foster a sense of novelty and excitement. Even small adventures can create big memories, enhance the mood, and strengthen the bond. Try something new at least once a week.
• Take care of yourself: It’s not selfish to prioritize your mental, physical, and emotional health, no matter what kind of relationship you’re in. In fact, the better you take care of yourself, the more able you are to show up and be present in your relationship. 
• Practice non-sexual intimacy: It’s not all about sexual activity. Explore non-sexual touch such as hand-holding, cuddling, and shared activities. 
• Be adventurous: Satisfy your curiosity with some light experimentation in the bedroom. When both partners feel comfortable exploring, such exploration can strengthen your connection.
• Try sex therapy: Sex therapy is a supportive, non-judgmental environment for couples to discover and explore their intimate life. It leads to profound transformations in couples who take that first step and reach out for support. 

Remember that there’s no one-size-fits-all answer to marriage or relationship concerns. Relationship sex quizzes can help us gain insight into our issues but real relationship healing requires a little more work.

These tips are just a few of the techniques we use in sex therapy to help couples find balance and reignite the spark. Try these tips at home, but remember that personalized and compassionate support is available. 

If you’d like to learn more about how sex therapy can help your relationship thrive, begin by visiting my sex therapy page or reach out for a free phone consultation! Whichever path you decide to take, know that your relationship has the potential to keep growing and become something truly beautiful.

Takeaway: It can be hard to decide whether or not to stay in your relationship sometimes. My “when to leave a relationship quiz” can help you reflect on your decision. Plus, I give my expert tips on how else you can decide.

Ever found yourself at a relationship crossroads? Does the relationship have any hope? Is it time for a break, or is separation the answer?

Relationships can be tricky to navigate – especially when we wonder if we should even be in them! Deciding whether to stay, take a break, or leave requires careful consideration. Here, you’ll find guidance on support for your lingering question.

The ‘Should I stay in this relationship?’ quiz below will help you assess your true feelings. It aims to bring clarity to your questions and confidence in whichever decision you make. Later, you’ll find my expert advice on knowing when it’s time to leave a relationship and what you can do to put your mind at ease during this challenging time. 

Who & what my “should I stay or go” quiz is for

I know that there is rarely a straightforward answer about whether or not you should leave your relationship. Relationships can be as complex as we are. The quiz below is not designed to give you a definitive answer but to help you make a more informed decision based on your authentic feelings and values.

You’ll gain a deeper understanding of your recurring feelings, views, and dynamics in your relationship. The goal is to inspire an honest evaluation of how your relationship serves your well-being, considering elements such as quality of communication, emotional connection, degree of trust, personal growth, and your vision of the future.

Should I leave my relationship? Quiz

Before we begin, remember that this quiz is here to serve as a guide for your reflection. There are no right or wrong answers. The intention is not to offer a definitive answer but to clarify your thoughts so you can make the decision you know is best for your well-being. Ready? Let’s dive in.

Question 1: Communication

How is the quality of communication in your relationship?

a) We communicate well about many things. It’s consistent, open, and honest.

b) Generally open, but sometimes lacking

c) Rarely open, inconsistent

Question 2: Emotional Connection

How emotionally connected do you feel to your partner? Do you find a quality friend in them?

a) I feel a strong emotional connection to my partner. They are a great friend and partner in one.

b) I feel connected to my partner, but there are times of emotional distance

c) I feel little to no emotional connection to my partner

Question 3: Trust

Describe the level of trust in your relationship.

a) Trust is strong in my relationship

b) We trust each other, but that trust is tested sometimes

c) Trust is lacking or broken

Question 4: Personal Growth

Do you feel that your relationship supports your personal growth?

a) Yes, I feel that this relationship supports my personal growth

b) Sometimes. There are occasional conflicts or setbacks.

c) No, I feel like this relationship hinders my personal growth

Question 5: Resentment

Do you experience feelings of resentment toward your partner?

a) I rarely experience resentment in my relationship

b) I sometimes feel resentment from the past, but we talk about it

c) I frequently feel resentment in my relationship and we don’t talk about it – things are left unchanged

Question 6: Happiness

How would you rate your happiness in the relationship on a scale of 1 to 10?

a) 8-10: I’m very happy in my relationship

b) 5-7: I’m happy but there are times when I don’t feel happy in the relationship anymore

c) 1-4: I feel unhappy/unsatisfied in my relationship, I’m getting sick of it

Question 7: Outlook for the future

Consider your dream or vision for the future. How does your partner fit in that vision?

a) My partner is an important part of my future plans

b) I’m not sure about my partner’s role in my future plans

c) I don’t see my partner in my plans for the future

Question 8: Reconnection

Think of a time when you experienced a lost sense of connection in the relationship. How did you and your partner approach the situation and reconnect?

a) We decided to discuss our feelings, describe our perspective, and focus on reconnecting

b) We tried to speak about the problem and explain our feelings, but it was a struggle

c) The feeling of being lost persisted and nothing really changed

Question 9: Desire

How do you and your partner express and fulfill each other’s desire?

a) We are open about expressing and fulfilling desire, we find it exciting

b) We spend time talking about desire, but sometimes it feels a bit forced or awkward

c) At this stage it feels like there’s no point even talking about it

Remember that the more honesty you bring to these questions, the more clarity you’ll gain. Let this quiz serve as a tool for reflection to help you make an informed decision about how to move forward.

Interpreting your results

Taking this ‘Should I Stay or Should I Go?’ quiz is a step on the journey to deeper self-discovery. The response you chose (A, B, or C) indicates your true feelings. We can use our true feelings to navigate big life decisions, especially when we practice radical honesty with ourselves. 

Mostly A: If you mostly chose answer A, then your relationship seems to possess the qualities of a good relationship. It involves open communication, trust, and growth between partners. If you chose mostly A’s but you still feel unsure about your relationship, that’s ok! Take it as an opportunity to explore your feelings in more depth. 

Mixed answers: If your answers were a mix of A’s and B’s (with some or no C’s) then your relationship sounds positive yet challenging. All relationships are nuanced and there may be times when you choose different answers. Keep in mind which answers you lean toward – that can show you areas where your relationship may need some loving attention.

Mostly C: If your answers are predominantly C, it sounds like there’s a lack of communication and trust in your relationship. Trust and communication are key to both personal and relationship health, so it’s worth taking note of these feelings. Mostly C’s does not mean your relationship is doomed but it does mean that you may benefit from extra support for your relationship issues, such as couples therapy.

Relationships are nuanced, so there’s no one-size-fits-all answer to what constitutes a good relationship. The main factor in a good relationship is that you feel healthy and supported. If you don’t feel this way in your relationship then it may not be serving your well-being. 

Remember that the decision to stay or leave is deeply personal, so avoid rash decisions. Seek guidance and support from loved ones and/or a professional to help you make the right decision for you.

Tips for deciding whether to stay or go

Hopefully the ‘Should I Stay In A Relationship’ Quiz has helped you gain clarity, but don’t worry if you’re still unsure! I’ve included some practical tips below, drawn from years of experience, to offer guidance and support for your process. 

Reflect on your boundaries

Think about your personal boundaries. Do you feel that they are respected in your relationship? Each person has a responsibility to set boundaries that feel right for them – it’s not anyone else’s responsibility to respect those boundaries. Your boundaries are supposed to be yours to uphold, but if someone chooses to not respect them, let that inform your decision-making process. Consider also how comfortable you feel expressing your boundaries, and your partner’s influence on that level of comfort. 

Consider communication patterns

You’ve heard it many times, but don’t forget that healthy communication is the foundation of any good relationship. If communication is lacking then address the issue. Unresolved conflicts only lead to resentment, and holding onto resentment is detrimental to your mental health and emotional well-being.

Think about your future

We can’t always predict the future, but it helps to have a vision for what you want in your life. Does your relationship inspire hope for the future? Try spending time considering your long-term goals and dreams, and whether or not your current relationship aligns with those goals and dreams. Do you support each other’s future plans or are there fundamental differences at play? Is the relationship worth saving?

Consider your well-being

If you’re wondering if you should stay or walk, consider your mental and emotional well-being in the context of the relationship. Do you feel loved, supported, and valued by this person? Does this person make you feel good? Is the connection fun? Or is this person a source of stress and questions about your self-worth? Remember that a good relationship is something that contributes positively to your well-being, not something that jeopardizes it.

Seek support from friends and family

One circumstance that can lead to relationship hell is not having a strong support network outside of the relationship. It can be complex when others get involved in our relationships, but friends and trusted family members can offer significant support when you sense relationship uncertainty. Connect with a trusted person who can give you space to vent, express your ideas and concerns, focus on your well-being, and help you determine the right choice for you.

Seek couples therapy

The questions on your mind are important. Deciding whether or not a relationship is worth investing in or leaving is a big life decision, but you don’t have to go through it all alone. Professional support from a trained, experienced therapist can make a world of difference. 

As a certified couples therapist, I help long-term partners figure out their situation based on the principles of the Gottman Method, developed by Drs. John Gottman and Julie Gottman. You’d be amazed at how these simple tools and techniques for communication and collaboration can transform your relationship! If you’d like a better idea about how couples therapy can help, check out my couples therapy page here. 

The choice to stay in your current relationship or leave is absolutely personal and may require some extra help. Know that compassionate, experienced, and evidence-based support is available as soon you’re ready to reach out. If you want to know more, don’t hesitate to schedule a free phone consultation today!

Takeaway: Struggling to make sense of the disconnect between you and your partner? My “Does My Husband Still Love Me?” quiz will help you get a deeper understanding of what might be going on. Plus, I offer my top tips for what to do if you’re worried that the spark in your relationship has gone out.

Do you wonder if your husband loves you anymore? Do you worry that his love might not be as strong as before? Is he not the person he used to be? If yes, you’re not the first person to feel this way in your marriage life. It’s normal to feel like this, so remember that hope is not lost. I’m here to answer your lingering questions. 

Here you’ll find a specially designed ‘Does my husband love me?’ quiz to help you gain clarity in your love and family life. These questions will provoke insightful reflection and serve as signs for your next step. First things first, congratulate yourself for being here. Making the effort to understand and nurture your relationship can bring about positive change in your marriage life.

Who my “How Do I Know if My Husband Still Loves Me?” quiz is for

In the honeymoon days, it seems like the signs of love and affection will never end! But after some time that initial excitement settles and the relationship becomes more nuanced. We may even start to experience doubt about our partner’s feelings for us. If that sounds like your experience, then this quiz is for you.

Quizzes like this one are a roadmap to help you figure out the current state of your relationship. They’re designed to be simple and accessible so that you can use them no matter where you are in your relationship. However, remember that this quiz is just the beginning of your exploration, so stay on course by exploring your questions further and reaching out for help when you need it!

Does Your Husband Love You Quiz

This ‘Does my husband love me?’ quiz

It’s important to answer these questions thoughtfully and honestly. Doing so will help you gain a clearer understanding of your relationship dynamics and figure out a path forward. 

Ready for the quiz? Let’s dive in.

Question 1

Consider how your husband communicates affection and appreciation in your marriage. Consider both verbal and non-verbal communication as relevant forms of expression. Which of the following answers best describes your experience?

1. He frequently expresses affection and appreciation with words and physical intimacy.
2. He occasionally shows affection and appreciation.
3. He rarely or never expresses affection and appreciation in words or non-verbally.

Question 2

Think about how much quality time you and your husband spend together. Consider shared activities, meaningful conversation, and your sense of connection as examples of shared quality time. Which of the following best describes your experience?

A) We spend quality time together regularly.

B) We spend time together when we can, but it’s infrequent.

C) We rarely spend quality time together.

Question 3

Consider the level of emotional support you feel that you receive from him. Consider how he deals with challenges, listens to your thoughts and concerns, and pays attention to your emotional well-being. Which of the following best describes your experience?

1. He is consistently there for me emotionally.
2. He provides support, but it can be inconsistent.
3. I feel emotionally unsupported in our relationship and it’s making me unhappy.

Question 4

Reflect on the quality of communication in your marriage. How comfortable are you and your husband with talking about authentic thoughts and feelings – both personal and those related to the relationship?

1. We communicate openly and effectively.
2. Communication is okay, but there are areas that need improvement.
3. We struggle with communication, and there’s a lack of openness.

Question 5

Consider your shared goals. Think about whether you both share a vision for the future or if your long-term vision and goals are very different. Which of the following describes your experience?

A) We have clear shared goals and plans for the future.

B) We have some common goals, but there’s a lack of clarity.

C) Our goals and plans for the future are mostly separate.

Question 6

Consider the quality of the physical connection, passion, and desire in your relationship. Reflect on intimacy, affection, and overall satisfaction.

A) Our physical connection is strong and satisfying.

B) There are moments of intimacy, but it’s not consistent.

C) Our physical connection is lacking or absent.

Remember that honest, authentic answers are important here. The more truth you explore with these questions the more clear your path forward will become. Use this quiz as a tool for self-reflection and let it serve as a catalyst for open communication in your relationship. 

Ready to interpret your results?

Interpreting your results

Let’s interpret those results to help you discover what your answers reveal about your relationship experience. Remember, this quiz serves as a guide to help you gain relationship clarity, but the results are not black and white. Every relationship is unique, so complement your quiz results with open conversation, support from friends, or the guidance of an expert couples therapist.

Mostly A’s: Mostly A’s is a sign that your husband offers consistent appreciation and affection. The physical connection is strong and you are committed to understanding each other. If you still feel like something is ‘off’, that’s ok. Figuring things out may just require some more reflection and guided exploration. 

Mostly B’s: Mostly B’s are a sign that there is room to improve certain areas of your relationship. Your connection is strong but there may be some gaps in communication and intimacy that could benefit from spending time on further exploration and conversation. If your results are a mix of A’s and B’s, then consider enhancing the existing connection through exercises and outside support.

Mostly C’s: Mostly C’s may not be the result you wanted, but don’t fret. This result does not mean that your husband doesn’t love you. However, it is a sign that your relationship is facing some challenges and requires some extra support. It may help to address your concerns with your husband and seek expert guidance for support. 

Remember, this quiz is intended to evoke reflection and insight. It is not intended to provide black-and-white answers about your relationship. Use it as a tool to realize your personal experience of your husband’s love and affection.

My advice if you’re worried that your husband may not love you anymore

I’m Julie, a licensed and certified couples therapist in Cincinnati. In my practice, I’ve seen all kinds of marriages, from newlyweds to married couples who have been together for decades. I help both couples and individuals deal with relationship concerns in a compassionate, supportive, and non-judgmental environment. 

I understand that your mind might be racing with doubts and concerns, so I’d like to offer you some advice from the heart.

• Put yourself first: Your well-being should absolutely be your top priority, always. When you take care of yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically, you put yourself in an effective position to deal well with relationship challenges. Don’t neglect your own feelings while you’re wondering if your husband still loves you.
• Initiate conversations: Relationships are nuanced, so only you and your husband really know the details. Approach your thoughts and concerns with your husband in a compassionate, non-judgmental way. Avoid blame, and encourage him to talk about his own honest feelings and perspective.
• Embrace help: Don’t hesitate to reach out for support. Couples therapy can lead to a profound transformation in your relationship, but it only works when you accept that support is needed and you take the first step. Staying committed can be hard, but becomes a lot easier with the right support.
• Renew the connection: Break the rut by trying new things, revisiting fun hobbies, or getting to know each other all over again. Find time away from the kids to spend quality time together. New experience inspires passionate play and reminds you and your spouse about the fun parts of your relationship.

Remember that it’s normal to face relationship challenges and that these challenges can be overcome. If you’re struggling or need some extra support, don’t hesitate to ask for help. This ‘does my husband really love me?’ quiz is just the beginning.

As a licensed Cincinnati couples therapist my mission is to give you the support you need for your relationship to thrive. Reach out and talk over a free phone consultation or learn more about my approach to couples therapy here.

Takeaway: If you’re feeling sexually disconnected from your spouse, you’re not alone. Many couples experience this, and it is possible to reconnect with each other. In this post, I break down some of the common reasons why this happens and offer my expert tips for what you can do about it.

Ever felt like the closeness you used to share with your partner is not there anymore? Are you wondering if there’s a way to rekindle that connection or is the distance normal? Even though your situation can be confusing, know that you’re not alone. Most couples experience an ebb and flow in their sex life. Take it as a good sign that you’re interested in figuring it out!

What does it mean to feel disconnected sexually? Is feeling disconnected from your husband or wife normal? And what can I do about it? Can my marriage recover from a slow sex life? These are important questions and I’m here to answer them for you. If you’re wondering about your partner’s feelings or curious about your changing interest in sex, you’ll find useful answers here. 

Let’s explore common causes of sexual disconnection in relationships and helpful strategies for dealing with it.

Common causes of sexual disconnect

Sexual intimacy is a vital part of any relationship. It’s not the be-all and end-all of a relationship, but it plays a crucial role in partner bonding. Sexual disconnection in the relationship can interfere with that bond and leave couples feeling confused and frustrated. 

The first step in overcoming this challenge is to seek understanding. What’s going on within each partner and the overall relationship that has led to this disconnection? And how much sexual distance is normal versus when it’s time to address the issue?

Let’s take a look at why couples might experience a disconnect in their sex life:

1. Communication breakdown

Healthy communication is the foundation of any good relationship. When communication breaks down (as I’ve seen in so many couples who have asked for help), partners tend to drift. It’s not always easy to talk about desires, boundaries, and concerns, but doing so is important for healthy communication. Avoiding uncomfortable emotions or daunting conversations only serves to push partners further away from each other, physically and emotionally.

2. Stress and Libido

No matter what stage of your relationship you’re in, stress can hurt your sex life. For example, work, money, or personal issues can get in the way of physical intimacy. Stress reduces libido, so it’s important to recognize your stressors. In therapy, we can find ways to manage stress effectively so that it no longer follows you into the bedroom. 

3. Changes in Desires or Preferences

Our desires and preferences aren’t static – they grow and evolve just like we do. Sometimes, we might notice shifts in our desires or what satisfies us sexually. It’s completely normal, but it can become an issue when we ignore these changes or don’t communicate them with our partner. 

4. Physical health issues

Sometimes physical health issues can get in the way of our capacity to be intimate. Maybe it’s a health condition, medication side effect, hormonal changes, or other physical conditions that impact the libido. Again, communication is key here. When you can be open with your partner about how you feel and what you experience, you make it much easier for them to help you. 

5. Emotional Distance

One of the most common causes of sexual disconnection is emotional disconnection. When partners stop communicating with each other and allow emotional distance, they’re far more likely to experience unresolved conflicts, not meet each other’s needs, and allow resentment to build. All of this soon manifests as sexual disconnection. When we address the emotional connection in the relationship, we pave the way for positive shifts in the sexual relationship. 

6. Too much of the same

A lack of variety in a couple’s sexual experience can lead to disinterest, especially when partners have been together long-term. Now, that doesn’t mean you have to go to extremes in the bedroom – it just means that it may be worthwhile to try some new things. Consider new activities, talking about and exploring fantasies, or simply trying something different with each other. This sense of novelty can reignite that spark and cultivate a new sense of connection. 

In essence, if you want to maintain a healthy sexual connection with your partner then healthy communication is key. It’s normal to feel out of sync with your partner from time to time but when issues persist it’s crucial to address them. If you’re both willing to address these challenges and work towards a healthy relationship, you can find compassionate and dedicated support in therapy.

How feeling disconnected sexually can impact your relationship

Feeling disconnected in your relationship means you don’t experience the same level of closeness as before. When you feel sexually disconnected from your partner, it can impact the overall relationship. Let’s explore how this sexual distance affects partners:

1. Emotional Distance

Distance in the sexual connection can lead to emotional distance. Again, sex isn’t the be-all and end-all of a relationship, but a lack of sexual connection can leave one or both partners feeling isolated or lonely. These feelings have a snowball effect, causing partners to drift even further apart. Addressing the emotional aspect of your relationship in therapy can work wonders for rekindling the sexual connection. 

2. Communication Problems

Verbal communication is just one type of communication that makes partners feel connected. Sexual intimacy is another important type of communication. When we don’t address sexual issues, we create a barrier. That barrier can make it hard for partners to express their genuine selves – both sexually and in other areas of the relationship.

3. Decreased Relationship Satisfaction

Extensive research shows that couples who are more sexually satisfied report higher overall relationship satisfaction. Equally, couples who feel disconnected sexually may experience reduced overall relationship satisfaction. 

4. Tension and Resentment

When needs are unmet and concerns are unaddressed, partners are more likely to point blame and harbor feelings of resentment in the relationship. Negative feelings come up and may lead to decreased desire. Approaching issues with curiosity, openness, and non-judgment can dissipate this tension, leading to stronger connection and greater relationship satisfaction. 

5. Impact on Self-Esteem

It can be hard for one or both partners to experience the other’s lack of physical affection. Many of us internalize this circumstance as a reflection of our attractiveness, sometimes even our worth as a person. This impact on self-esteem has a domino effect on the relationship. Nurturing each other’s self-esteem and offering support in reassurance is key in keeping the relationship afloat. 

6. Risk of Infidelity

Sometimes, distance in the sexual connection may increase one or both partner’s likelihood of infidelity. Intimacy is a natural human need and when we struggle to experience satisfactorily in our relationship we may begin to seek it outside the relationship. Of course, sexual disconnection doesn’t guarantee that a partner will look elsewhere, but it tends to make partners more likely to be tempted.

It’s important to understand how feeling detached sexually can impact your relationship. When we understand the impact, we acknowledge the importance of nurturing our relationship healthily. Remember that some sexual distance is normal from time to time, but if you need some support know that it’s readily available.

6 strategies for when you’re feeling sexually disconnected from your spouse

Feeling sexually disconnected from spouse? The good news is healing is possible. It requires collaboration, intention, and communication, all of which can be cultivated through the right therapeutic relationship.

In therapy, you can learn about effective strategies to stay connected and strengthen your sexual bond. Below I’ll cover 6 strategies I’ve found to be highly effective in clients’ relationships. These strategies are based on evidence and my wealth of experience as a therapist. 

1. Prioritize Communication

I’ve mentioned it already but it’s worth reiterating – healthy relationships are formed and maintained through open, healthy communication. Even though you might struggle to find the right words, try talking to your partner about your experience, your emotions, and your desires. Invite them to share too, and enter a safe space for both of you to connect on the issue at hand. Remember that empathy and mutual understanding are crucial.

2. Shake things up

Sometimes all it takes to reignite the spark is a little novelty. Long-term couples are usually familiar with how routine can take a toll on intimacy! Consider trying new activities together – even outside of a sexual context – or explore fantasies, take things outside of the bedroom, or just try something new. Aim to break the dullness of routine and spark new excitement in your relationship.

3. Try Sensate Focus Exercises

Try sensate focus exercises with your partner, such as holding hands, non-sexual massage, and sustained eye contact. These exercises are designed to help partners focus on the sensation and experience of physical touch without the pressure or expectation to have sex. Slowly and mindfully exploring touch in a non-sexual context can help you and your partner feel present with each other and reestablish a base sense of closeness independent of sex. 

4. Try Sex Therapy

Sex therapy can lead to a profound transformation in your relationship. It’s not just for couples in crisis, either. Sex therapy offers partners a supportive, non-judgmental, and structured environment to work on issues concerning sex and intimacy. Sex therapists offer partners effective tools and strategies to explore intimacy and rebuild not just the physical but also the emotional aspects of the relationship, including behaviors that may contribute to the relationship disconnect.

As a certified sex therapist in Cincinnati, I can help you navigate your intimacy challenges with compassion and evidence-based support. 

5. Collaborate on Shared Goals

Working on shared goals can make a big difference in your relationship, especially for couples who feel disconnected. Spending this quality time together establishes a sense of collaboration and unity which leads to a stronger bond. Whether it’s a fitness goal, a hobby you both enjoy, taking care of the kids, or working on an exciting new project, achieving your shared goals can reignite the spark in the relationship.

6. Cultivate Emotional Intimacy

The sexual aspect of your relationship is just one part of it – don’t forget about emotional intimacy! When you nurture the emotional connection, you lay a strong foundation for a healthy physical connection. Spend quality time together, find a quiet moment to connect, explore bonding activities, and express non-sexual affection. 

Remember that each relationship is unique, and you know best about what your relationship needs to thrive. If you’re struggling to figure it out, you don’t have to do it alone. The support of a certified sex therapist such as myself can nourish your exploration and take you far on your journey to rediscovering intimacy.

Signs it’s time to see a sex therapist

Remember that if you’re currently feeling disconnected from your partner, you’re not alone. The good news is that I’m here to support you. The following are some major signs that sex therapy is worth considering:

1. You experience persistent relationship disconnect

If feelings of relationship disconnect persist, it’s best to address the issue. Relationships can recover from disconnection but it requires acknowledgement of the issue and a commitment to resolving it. Professional support can go a long way in finding a resolution. 

2. You’re dealing with frustration

Not feeling that same pleasure or excitement anymore? An absence of pleasure and satisfaction in your sex life can impact the overall relationship. An expert sex therapist such as myself can help you address your frustration and rediscover joy and pleasure. 

3. You experience no connection during sex

Sex is an important aspect of relationship health, but it should center around a strong intimate connection. When that connection is lacking, sex can feel more like a chore than a celebration of your relationship. Sex therapy can help you explore and reestablish that crucial sense of connection. 

4. You’re feeling tired and overwhelmed

It can be tiring to feel disconnected from your partner. If you’re experiencing mental tiredness and frustration in your sex life then reaching out for professional support is a wise decision. 

5. You feel uncomfortable beginning conversations around sex

Do you feel uncomfortable when you try to talk about sex with your partner? Do you fear awkwardness or anxiety? Or do these conversations with your husband/wife/partner simply not happen? This conversation can be daunting but it’s crucial for your relationship health. Sex therapy can offer a safe and supportive environment to talk openly about your experience without fear.

It’s normal to feel hesitant to seek help but remember that it is not a sign of weakness. Reaching out for support when feeling disconnected is a sign of emotional maturity and strength. It’s a proactive step toward the relationship fulfillment and satisfaction you seek.

Rekindle your Connection with Sex Therapy Cincinnati

It’s not uncommon for couples to feel disconnected from time to time. However, we shouldn’t fear these feelings or let frustrations fester. The point of sex therapy is to create an environment where we re-learn the joy of connecting, explore our feelings and behaviors, and establish a sense of unity in your marriage or partnership.

On your journey to rediscovering intimacy in your relationship, remember that support is available. As a certified sex therapist serving clients in Cincinnati, I’ve helped many clients feel comfortable addressing a range of issues around sex and intimacy. It’s my privilege to help you explore, grow, and thrive in your relationship.

Together we can create renewed intimacy and greater relationship satisfaction. Want to learn more about how sex therapy can help you rewrite your relationship story? Schedule a free phone consultation today to take the first step toward the relationship you desire.

 

 

The poet Maya Angelou is known for so many beautifully worded ideas … after all, she’s a poet! One of my favorites of hers is,

“When people show you who they are, believe them.”

Note, she didn’t write, “When people tell you who they are …” she deliberately used the word “show.”

This is her version of the old saying “Actions speak louder than words.” So, what does this mean for relationships? Well, pretty much everything.

If your partner says your needs matter but doesn’t try to meet them, that’s showing you who they are.

If you say you’re not possessive or jealous, yet question every phone call, text, unexplained silence, or sideways glance at another person, that’s showing them who you are. If you say “I’m fine” when you’re clearly not, that’s showing who you are.

Recently, I had a long, reality-checking session with a couple I’ve been seeing for about six months now. They came in crisis, as so many do, and are now in a more stable place.

For the past 3 months, they’ve not made any real progress, and the man called me on it in my office.

“We’re stalled and stuck,” he said, in an accusatory voice.

I agreed they were. He looked challengingly at me and said, “So, what are you going to do about that?” I calmly asked him the exact same question.

They’d both said they wanted a more connected, loving, healthier marriage.

They agreed they needed to spend more time together and make that time more meaningful. They committed to half an hour every day to check in, catch up, touch base…whatever words you want to use to describe a couple connecting. And, they didn’t do it. At all.

Not once, in three months, had they spent 30 minutes together more than two consecutive days. I quoted Maya to them, and said they were really showing each other how much their marriage meant to them, no matter what they said. That silenced them both.

Trust is key to all healthy relationships, and one important way to build and maintain trust is to show up authentically. Say what you mean, mean what you say, and back it up with congruent actions. Congruence is SO important. Your words and actions need to match, and they need to do it consistently. When they do, you’re showing who you are: someone who can be trusted, relied upon, and believed.